Collected definitions

These will be added to each weekday (things such as paid employment permitting).
Watch out for the additions on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

Here are the latest definitions, starting in July 2015, newest at the top:

City Cancel:  Municipal budget deficit

Carat and stick:  Jeweller's sales pitch

Carrot and schtick:  Market gardener's comedy routine

Bud 'n' breakfast:  Redneck diet

Seizerian section:  Tax department

Problem gamboller:  Someone shorn at the pokies

Gloss ceiling: Paint company bar on women execs

Poll dancer:  Politician explaining away bad result

Pell dispenser:  Cardinal delivering excuses

Corn flakes:  Crazy farmers

Rain of terror:  Government propaganda

Rain of error:  Government propaganda

Reign of error:  Government propaganda

Stiletto heals:  Stylish acupuncturist

Assay assay assay:  Antipodean gold strike

DJ vu: "Not the same playlist AGAIN!"

One man brand: Clive Palmer (Aussie edition), Donald Trump (US edition)

Wan man band: Eskimo accordion player

Tux evader: Rich Kiwi redneck

Two-edged sward: median strip

Travail agent:  Whoever arranged Bronwyn's flights

Rustaurant:  Shipping container turned into an eatery

Rastaurant:  West Indian eatery

Lendlord:  Parent housing grown-up kids

Glide dog:  Canine helper for visually impaired pilot

Grope therapy:  Cure for sexual harassment

Simmer frame: Walking aid for grumpy old men

Defundent: Recipient of legal 'aid'

Pharmissy: Feminist chemist

Glucky: Wannabe grandma

Ladle snitcher: Cook who cries(Courtesy Amanda Horswill)

Discrumination:   Springbok bias against Wallabies forwards

Ausmosis:   Antipodean drinking style

Cradle snitcher:   Baby who screams when picked up

Designer ladle:   Posh serving spoon

Pregnant paws:   Kitty litter


And here are the earlier ones:

Alcozeimers:  Alcohol-based befuddlement

Annachronistic:  Cambell Newman's opinion of Anna Bligh's leadership

Ashgrave:  The burial place of someone's political hopes

Au Cointraire:  Alcoholic reversal of fortune

Baby face:  Reluctant recipient of political kisses

Barn again Christian:  Deep South rural fundamentalist

Beeraucrat:  Licencing inspector

Bludget:  Borrowing plan

Brain sturgeon:  One that doesn't have all its eggs in one basket

Bureaucat:  Cool dude who gets paid by public service

Carenivore:  Humanitarian aid worker

Christmas padding:  Boxing Day girth after a day of over-indulgence

Circumlocation:  Where little Jewish boys tend to cry

Coach potato:  Bus driver who needs exercise

Crassmas:  Attempts by retailers, lenders and media to cash in on the Christmas spirit

Culling card:  Upmarket version of a pink slip.

Curette Syndrome:  Erratic behaviour by canine growling at & licking its owner at the same time

Deja View:  Realising 10 minutes into the film that you've seen it before

Designer stubble:  Crop circles

Discrumination:  Bias against day-dreamers

Dourment:  Hidden propensity for crankiness

Dustination:  End of the road in the outback

Ergonomics:  I think therefore I spend

Ermail:  The sort of instant message you wish you hadn't sent to your boss or spouse.

Faceboob:  Bungled social media share float

Faderation:  Cause fashionable enough to unite the glitterati

Failing system:  Queensland Health's method of storing employee pay records

Farce majeure:  Irresistible power exerted idiotically (usually by government)

FatWaah:  A campaign that brings nothing but tears

Financial jeer:  Treasury's response to those trying to do their taxes honestly - AND hoping for a refund

Fritato:  Irish version of a fritata

Fruction:  The ruction caused by the right faction removing its fractional support for Kevin Rudd

Fruction:  Kiwi percentage

Gay light saving:  Queensland's answer to New South Wales and its Mardi Gras

Gloss ceiling:  Barrier to promotion in the cosmetics industry

Himorrhoids:  Men, according to radical feminists

Hisstory:  A version of past events you strongly disapprove of.

Hullelujah Chorus:  Mass sigh of relief at the ending of the Titanic centenary overkill

Hypochrondiac:  Long-term malingerer

Ignoranus:  An ignorant person who is also unpleasant (note the clever avoidance of crudity)

Laggage:  Suitcase the airline leaves behind

Lampen proletariat:  Enlightened Bogans

Loose canon:  Priests' justification for sexually abusing children

Lower House:  Whichever is worse behaved of House of Reps & Senate. Upper House: No such thing

Luddhist :  One who rejects innovation on religious grounds

Marmaladle:  Over-sized jam spoon.

Meddle of Honour:  Grudging award for those who interfere, but actually manage to help

Massachist:  Slave who moves next door to Uncle Tom's Cabin

Messochist:  One who untidies in certain knowledge of pain to come

Misochist:  Japanese food critic

Mossochist:  Scottish naturalist

Musochist:  Record company scout who recruits in pubs

Muterus:  Conversational topic women use to silence men

Naana nap:  Deep sleep following huge Indian meal

News Year's Daze:  'Nuff said

Ninny Nap:  Male senior citizen's version of a nanny nap

NoWT:  What was left when the NoTW (News of the World) closed

Opposition lieder:  The enemy's war chant

Over the tap:  Plumber’s bill

Palitics:  Jobs for the boys

Palygamy:  Gay version of a Mormon marriage

Pepperazi:  Over-excited news photographers

Personable computer:  One that smiles while it's crashing

Poll dancing:  Sliding out of revealing popularity figures

Polling boot:  The means of kicking politicians out

Prevenge:  Pre-emptive strike

Primate change:  The process by which outspoken senior clergy get moved on from the hot seat

Punkritude:  The (rare) ability of goths, punks et al to exude sexuality

Puparazzi:  Trainee news photographers

Pyramaniac:  Egyptologist

Readneck:  One who takes the Washington Post as well as the National Inquirer

Refusees: :  Asylum seekers unfortunate enough to choose Australia as a haven

Reign check:  UK law banishing Prince Charles

Retyrement:  When you reach 65 but the work still keeps going around and around (courtesy Geoff Turner)

Rite of reply:  Constant male attempt to get a word in edgeways

Scentillating:  Freshly roasted coffee beans

Schoolies Wake:  Friends' get-together to mourn depleted bank balances after being fined for idiotic behaviour

Shalottery:  When your ticket number's so close to the winning number it makes you cry

Share partfolio:  What's left of your investment after a market "correction"

Sliver-tongues:  Politicians too glib for their own good

Spate of Origin:  Media coverage overkill (it's only a game - not even Rugby Union)

Suppuration of Powers:  Government code of practice

Sux pack:  Taut Kiwi stomach

Swan song:  Wayne’s final Budget

Taxedo:  Posh clobber funded by taxpayer

Theory of Relativity:  How time slows when your mother-in-law comes to visit

Tintative:  Unsure about the shade of paint you're thinking of buying

Twatter:  Nonsense spouted by some on Twitter

Uggriphobia:  Fear of hairy boots

Umbilical chord:  Attachment to style of music born during ones adolescence

Vetish:  Canine compulsion to hump the vet's leg

VoVozela:  Irritating Australian biscuit that's always a bit flat

Yeaster:  Hot cross bun baker


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